When it hurts..

Sometimes it is very easy to drown on the deep sorrow that loneliness offers us when we just go through a rupture that scratches the soul. However, with the time and a pair of scars from previous losses, one learns that even though it hurts for real and deeply, the objective is to be aware of ones feelings and thoughts and about whatever lesson this relationship has to leave us.

So I'll keep repeating to myself: you know this is only temporal, only an acute pain, not a chronic one, it'll pass and you'll be better. Think about what you can learn from all this and be grateful for the opportunity of have loved and have been loved. Remember: you are never alone, loneliness is no more than a macabre trick of a mind used to sadness.

Just thinking..

Today dear a classmate shared a comment from Oscar Wilde with me from which I quote:

"all romance is based on deception"

I immediately thought that this comment could have been shared by Freud too.. you know, in the insatiable search  of our most beautiful human characteristics, typically in the darkest places. -Don't get me wrong, I still admire and respect Freud, I still think he was a tremendous genius for his time- but is it that frightening for humans to discover that love and relationships are a beautiful, enlightened part of our selves instead of blaming the "omnipotent" dark side of our nature? Would it be because we are afraid of being responsible for our mistakes and obscure relationships? Or is it the immense vulnerability and power that it implies? Is that too much for us to handle still?

My thoughts:

Yes, definetly, those relationships that are painful and dry our soul by so much crying.. yes, they come from deception, or.. well I'll change that and say "lack" or "need".


oops, class is over, to be continued..

Moderns Romantic Love vs. Spiritual love

In the current times, romantic love is commonly viewed as a relationship between two individuals that are expected to act in some specific ways to each other. Some of those “duties” include –but are not limited to- faithfulness, understanding, support, intimacy, and respect. The perceptions of the expected behaviors in a modern romantic love relationship can, and do change between cultures. However, it can be seen that in most of the western societies, the lack of any of the above expectations can create unpleasant situations to both of the partners, destroy relationships, and even worst, subsume a couple in a complicated, destructive, codependent, and painful relationship.

In the other hand, spiritual/love relationships are those in which nothing is taken for granted. A great value and respect is given to other individuals and to existence from a very deep understanding, wise and humble spiritual level. As spiritual love embraces everything in love, it expects nothing and cannot be destroyed by anything, going beyond the material world. This difference in regards of the expectancy is one of the greatest differences between modern romantic love relationships and spiritual love/relationships, making the former a much more fragile way of being related to one another.

However, there is a convergent point for these two types of relationships: sometimes it is common to see that for a human being it is necessary to go through different unsuccessful modern romantic love relationships in order to reach the necessary wisdom, humbleness, and self-development point to be able to experience spiritual love. This situation is perfectly described by F. Dostoevsky in The Dream of a Ridiculous Man, when it was only after the main character reached the lowest point of suffering and deception, that he could understand the true nature of the human being, and that is, the true nature of the spirit whose ultimate purpose is spiritual and enlightened love. 

Reference 2

                                                                                                            Laugh


                       Gorman, J. (2011, September 13). Scientists hint at why laughter feels so good.
                          The New York Times, p. A14. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/


 Dr. Robin Dunbar at Oxford, demonstrated that laughter produces enough endorphin to increase 
pain resistance, which is a direct outcome of the nervous system; laughter is also a very common
                                    reaction when being either in love or in enlightened love.
     
    In addition, Dr. Provine showed that relaxed contagious social laughter is not only a very strong
   way of creating bonding between humans, but also among primates. Which demonstrates that 
     positive relationships-which usually involve love in its many ways- are an important source for 
humans to subsist as social beings, and through relationships an individual can evolve spiritually.

                                                                                                            Relate

Reference 1

Smart, L., Kubzansky, L., Maselko, J., Kawachi, I., Choo, P., & Bauer, M.
     (2005). Positive Emotion and Health: Going Beyond the Negative. Health 
     Psuchology, 24(4), 422-429. doi:10.1037/0278-6133.24.4.422
       

       This article is describe a correlational study between positive
       emotions, specifically curiosity and hope, with the changes in the immune
       system consering about three disease outcome.
  
       Statistics from the research showed that:
       1. No differences were found between ages.
       2. Higher levels of curiosity were more common in males.
       3. The socioeconomic status was related in an increasing bilateral
       way with the presence of both curiosity and hope emotions.
  
       The authors concluded that both curiosity and hope influence in
       a healthy way the main physiological systems and could work like a
       preventive factor for disease development.
  
       This article is useful because they made a study that relates
       some emotions to the immunology system and is an adequate resource to
       sustent my research.

Hope